Crazy jokes 疯狂的笑话

“好，”我爸很快回答说，“那再洗一遍吧！”

A preacher, completing a temperance sermon, spoke with great fervor! “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.”
With greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.”
And finally he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d throw it all into the river, too!”
As he took his chair, the song leader stood and announced with a smile, “For our closing hymn, let us sing number 365:”
“Shall We Gather at the River.”
一位牧师在进行节制布道，他热情地讲着。“如果我有世界上所有的啤酒，我就把它们全部扔进河里！”
随后他又慷慨激昂地说，“如果我有世界上所有的葡萄酒，我就把它们全扔进河里。”
最后他说，“如果我有世界上所有的威士忌，我也会把它们全扔进河里。”
当他坐下后，唱诗班的领唱站起来笑着说，“最后的赞歌我们一起吟诵第365章：《让我们聚在河边》。”

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
 
“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.
 
“He died and went to Heaven,” the dad replied.
 
The boy thought a moment and then said, “Did God throw him back down?”
 
一位父亲和他4岁的儿子在沙滩上，突然儿子跑向他，抓着他的手冲向岸边，那里有一只死海鸥躺在沙滩上。
 
“爸爸，它发生了什么事？”儿子问。
 
“他死了，去了天堂，”父亲回答。
 
男孩想了一会儿，然后说，“那是上帝把它扔下来的吗？”

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner.
As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?”
Bill: “If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?”
Tom: “The smaller piece, of course.”
Bill: “What are you whining about then?
The smaller piece is what you want, right?”
一天，比尔和汤姆到一家餐厅吃晚饭。
当服务员端上了两份牛排时，比尔豪不客气地挑走了较大的那份。
汤姆不高兴地说：“什么时候你才能学会礼貌？”
比尔说：“如果给你机会先挑，你会选哪块？”
汤姆回答说：“当然是小的那块。”
比尔说道：“那你还有什么可抱怨的？你不就想要那块小的吗？”

A student burst into his professor’s office and says; “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this F you’ve given me.”
To which Stigler replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award.”
一名学生冲进教授的办公室说：“斯蒂格勒教授，我简直不敢相信您给了我一个F。”教授回答说，“我同意，但不幸的是，这是大学允许我给学生打的最低分。”